


Even In The Middle of The Night

by Anxiouslykitty



Series: Surviving Together [5]
Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fear, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiouslykitty/pseuds/Anxiouslykitty
Summary: Hecate is nervous before her first therapy appointment...
Relationships: Amelia Cackle | Ada Cackle/Hardbroom
Series: Surviving Together [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960153
Kudos: 13





	Even In The Middle of The Night

It took over a month for Ada to find a therapist for Hecate to talk to. Hecate had watched Ada spend endless hours discreetly trying to find someone to help her. Hecate had felt bad that Ada was going to such trouble for her, but Ada kept telling her she loved her and would do anything for her. It was still strange to hear Ada say that she loved her. She had secretly loved Ada for so long that to know that Ada felt the same love for her now sometimes felt unreal. Having Ada around all the time and having her love and support was already helping Hecate to feel better. However, she was still having panic attacks and now they were happening during more unpredictable situations. 

At first she would only have an attack if Ada was injured or in danger. That she could sort of understand, although she didn’t appreciate it. Those panic attacks at least made sense to Hecate after what had happened with Agatha at the end of the last term. Now though she was finding herself having attacks when Ada was away from her for long periods of time and she couldn’t find her in the first place she went to look. It was a rather large castle and it was not uncommon to have difficulty locating someone. This meant that Ada was now staying close to Hecate in an effort to lower the chance of her having another attack. The stress was wearing heavily on both of them.

Today was going to be Hecate’s first session with the therapist and she was nervous. Ada had found a woman who was a witch, but who hadn’t either been a student of Hecate or Ada’s or gone to school with Hecate or Ada. It had proved more difficult than either of them had thought it would be. There weren’t all that many therapists in the witching community to begin with and a great deal of them had a connection to Hecate and Ada already. Ada was being overly optimistic about the whole situation while Hecate was skeptical. To her it felt like this was just what the rest of her life was going to be like. 

Hecate watched Ada curled up comfortably in bed. She hadn’t been able to sleep and had gotten out of Ada’s bed and moved to the armchair by the fire as not to disturb her. Ada looked so peaceful sleeping that Hecate had just been watching her. She was starting to enjoy the fact that she could now admire Ada without having to worry about being caught. To her Ada was the most beautiful woman in the world and she didn’t think she would ever have enough of just looking at her.

“Hecate you’re staring” Ada announced groggily from the bed. 

The sound of Ada’s voice made Hecate jump a bit. She hadn’t meant to wake Ada up, at least one of them should get a full night’s sleep.

“I’m sorry I woke you” Hecate whispered.

“Couldn’t you sleep” Ada asked.

Hecate looked away from Ada and into the fire. She was embarrassed that she was this nervous about seeing the therapist. She was a grown woman and a competent witch, something as small as talking to a therapist shouldn’t keep her up at night. Yet here she was unable to sleep and looking for comfort again.

“Hecate” Ada questioned.

Hecate looked back at Ada who had lifted the covers up and scooted back inviting Hecate to crawl into her arms in the bed. She slowly stood from the armchair and went to the bed. She felt sort of like a child climbing into bed with their parents after a bad dream, but the warmth of Ada’s body against hers made it all okay. She snuggled in and Ada held her tightly to her body. 

“Are you nervous about the appointment” Ada asked.

“I know it’s silly…” Hecate began.

“Nothings silly if it causes you discomfort” Ada interrupted.

“I’m nervous that even with the therapists help I won’t ever stop having these panic attacks and I don’t know if I can live like this forever” Hecate explained.

“Oh Hecate, we’ll figure this out. You won’t be alone in this and even if this therapist doesn’t work we’ll find another. It won’t be forever darling you just have to hold on” Ada soothed.

Ada held Hecate tighter and ran her hand up and down Hecate’s back. Hecate enjoyed this feeling. She had never been one for a great deal of physical touch, but with Ada things were different. When she was younger her parents never showed her much affection. They didn’t even fight it when she was confined to the school for what should have been the rest of her life. She had never learned to enjoy physical touch until she met Ada. Over the years she had become accustomed to a hand on her arm or back or a hug now and then. Since they had opened up to each other about their love the touch has been so much better. There had rarely been a moment when they were together that they weren’t touching in some way or another and Hecate discovered she greatly enjoyed it.

“What will we do if these attacks never stop” Hecate asked.

“Let’s not worry about something that will probably not happen,” Ada cooed.

“I think I need to think about all the possibilities,” Hecate explained. “I think I need to talk about them with you because I’m afraid that I’ll lose you if this doesn’t stop soon and it makes it really hard to be optimistic.”

Ada sniffed and Hecate knew she was crying. She also knew that Ada wouldn’t want her to call attention to it. Hecate had learned that Ada was much more sensitive than anyone might know, but she didn’t like it. Ada cried at the drop of a hat when she was alone or with someone she trusted. Hecate thought it was endearing, it allowed her to know what Ada was really feeling. Ada though looked at it as a weakness and she didn’t want people to think she couldn’t handle things just because she got emotional sometimes. So Hecate had learned not to call attention to Ada’s crying or any of her extreme emotions, but just to be there for her and comfort Ada or let Ada comfort her if that’s what she wanted. 

“I’ll never leave you, but if you need to talk about it we can” Ada encouraged.

It meant a lot to Hecate to hear Ada say she would never leave. Deep down there was still a little voice telling her that Ada was just saying that to make her feel better and that she would leave eventually, but Hecate tried to focus on Ada’s actual words. She knew Ada would never lie to her and she knew she needed to focus on that.

“What will we do if I can’t stop having panic attacks” Hecate asked.

“We’ll keep looking for different ways to help you” Adabegan. “We’ll find more therapists, we’ll research potions, we’ll go away somewhere that makes you more comfortable, we’ll talk to non-magical therapists if we have to. I’ll never let you suffer through this alone. We'll find a way to stop them.” 

“What do we do if the girls find out” Hecate asked.

“We’ll tell them the truth,” Ada replied. “Don’t underestimate our girls Hecate. They have good hearts and although you have them scared into line they do care about you. If they knew what was happening I know many of them would want to help and none of them would think less of you because of it.”

“What if what I have to do to stop having panic attacks is something you don’t want or don’t agree with” Hecate asked.

“Then we’ll talk about it and we’ll make it work. Watching you suffer like this breaks my heart everytime. I don’t think there is anything that would bother me if it meant that your attacks would stop” Ada explained.

Hecate absorbed all of Ada’s answers and tried to believe the words. She let them run through her head in an effort to calm the storm that always seemed to be brewing inside. One question kept clawing its way to the surface and Hecate knew she needed to hear Ada’s answer more than any of the others.

“What if the only way to get the attacks to stop is for me to leave and never see you again” Hecate choked out. 

Ada inhaled a small gasp and Hecate knew she was trying not to cry and failing if the tremor in her chest was what Hecate thought it was. There were even tears leaking from her own eyes waiting to hear Ada’s reply.  
“Hecate I…” Ada sniffled. “If losing you meant that you weren’t suffering anymore than I would do it. I don’t want you to take that as you’re not being important to me. It would break my heart into a million pieces if we couldn’t be together and furthermore if you left my life forever. However, if it meant that you could be happy and healthy then I would live with it.”

Hecate burrowed herself further into Ada’s embrace. She turned her face further into Ada’s chest to absorb the tears that were now freely flowing from her eyes. She gripped tightly to the fabric of Ada’s nightgown. Ada in turn held on tighter and kissed the top of Hecate’s head.

“I could never be happy without you Ada” Hecate mumbled through the fabric of Ada’s dress.

They laid there holding on tightly to each other for a long time. Even though it was still the middle of the night neither of them fell asleep. They just lay contently listening to each other breathing. Occasionally Hecate would hear Ada sniff and she knew that most likely Ada was crying quietly. It made Hecate sad to know that Ada was sad, but she knew that it wasn’t because of her. Ada had been very clear about that in the past month. There had been several times where Ada would start crying and Hecate would think it was something she did or said. Ada had assured her that her crying and sadness were not Hecate’s fault. It had helped Hecate to feel more comfortable comforting Ada knowing she wasn’t the cause. This time though she knew that if it wasn’t for her Ada wouldn’t be sad, but that if she wasn’t here Ada would be even sadder. 

Slowly Hecate pulled back a little from Ada so that she could look in her face. As she thought Ada’s face had tears on it and Ada quickly tried to wipe them away. Hecate grabbed Ada’s hand and pulled it away from her face. She leaned forward gently and placed a kiss on Ada’s cheek where tears still covered it. 

“I’m so happy you love me so much” Hecate whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long and it means the world to me to know that you love me.”

The tears started falling down Ada’s face again and leaned her forehead against Ada’s. Their noses brushed gently against each other and they shared the same breath. Hecate could see Ada was trying to stop crying but couldn’t. Hecate brought one hand to Ada’s cheek and gently rubbed her thumb back and forth gently rubbing away the tears that flowed so freely. 

“I do love you more than I can put into words” Ada whimpered.

“Thank you for loving me,” Hecate replied.

“Always” Ada whispered.

Hecate kissed Ada passionately on the mouth. Ada tasted salty with tears and it was a bizarre feeling to kiss someone who was crying, but it was the only way she could think of the help Ada. So they kissed until they were both gasping for air. Hecate laid her head back down in the crook of Ada’s neck and wrapped her arm over Ada. They both settled into each other and before long they were both back asleep. Hecate knew that there were still a lot of steps to get through, but she was sure that she could do it as long as Ada was always by her side.


End file.
